It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
