Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
