There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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