Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
