Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
