don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
