It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
