Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
