His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
