you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
