on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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