John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
