Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize