dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Randomize