I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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