i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
