I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i can't believe i had my finger in that
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
