NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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