i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
