did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
