we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
