i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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