either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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