well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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