a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
