you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
