So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
