So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Randomize
