I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
