Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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