Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
