So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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