Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
