Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
