Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
