Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
