dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
