I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
