Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize