you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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