My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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