Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
