Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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