I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
