Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize