he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
