i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize