so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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