Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(239): View more from Florida

Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.

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(904): View more from Florida

it glows. i had to have it.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.

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(775): View more from Nevada

Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats

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(573): View more from Missouri

Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.

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(+81): View more from

He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????

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(708): View more from Illinois

Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.

Fav 2 332 203
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(703): View more from Virginia

my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life

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