Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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