I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
you would pick up someone in the library
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
