Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize