"it" just moved
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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