i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
