Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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