Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
