yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
