im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
