after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
