There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
